So this week I am going to get a little spiritual so prepare
yourselves! This week I had the opportunity
to watch a musical called “Savior of the World” it is about the life of Christ. The end portion is all about the apostles
after the death and crucifixion of the Jesus Christ. I have seen this production a few times now
but this time the plight of Thomas the Apostle, commonly referred to as
Doubting Thomas, struck me in a way that I have not ever been struck
before. Maybe it was the quality of the
actor portraying the part, but I feel it is because at this time in my life I
can relate to Thomas.
Thomas
had walked and talked with the Savior.
He had heard His teachings and seen the miracles He preformed. He had been divinely appointed to serve on
the council of 12 Apostles. He taught
and testified with them and sat daily by the feet of the Master learning and
gaining a stronger testimony. Yet, on a
night shortly following the resurrection of the Lord, Thomas was absent as
Christ showed himself to the remaining Apostles in an upper room. I could imagine the pain Thomas must have
felt when he learned that his beloved friend and teacher had shown himself too
all but him. What had he done to deny
him this blessing? Was he no longer
worthy to be an apostle? Was he still
trusted to tend to the flock of followers who still believed in Christ as the
promised Messiah? Surely these and many
more questions like them were going through Thomas’s head as he said “Except I
shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print
of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe.” (KJV John
20:25)
In my
life I feel this way at times as well. I
live the Gospel to the best of my ability and I do the things I know I’m supposed
to do. I still make mistakes as everyone
does and I have to repent quite often.
However there are many times I wonder, “Has God forgotten me? Did Christ
really die for my sins?” I served a
mission and I saw miracles happen on a daily basis. I saw people’s lives change with acceptance
of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. You would
think that now after only 4 months of being home I would just put these
questions of doubt aside. It has not
been that easy. I continue to have
doubts and questions come up and I keep looking for answers.
Of
course we all know the Happy ending to Thomas’s story. Eight Days later as the Apostles again gather
in the Upper Room Christ again appears and calls Thomas to him to feel the
prints of the nails and to thrust his hand into his side. Christ then spoke and said “… because thou
hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet
have believed.” (KJV John 20:29) The part
that interests me most is that Thomas is present at this meeting of the
Apostles. Even though his testimony was
being challenged he chose to be where he knew he was supposed to be. In my life I fell I can currently relate to
Thomas. I have my doubts but I remember
the my soul did burn within me and testified to me that Jesus is my
Savior. I remember the moments that
cemented my testimony! Then, I continue
on and wait till the blessed day when I shall stand before my Savior and have
my Faith replaced by Knowledge.
Remember
that when those times of doubt come into your life that there will be more but
it doesn’t mean you’re right or wrong in what you are doing just continue
forward and continue learning and we too can become great men and women like
Thomas went on to become.
